2009-02-08 - 9:47 p.m.
i feel hurt, broken, and shattered.
whenever i felt that he's not right for me, somehow he would do something that made me think that maybe i was wrong... maybe there is a chance. and the hope kept coming back.
so the hope continues and i pour out more and more of my feelings.
i feel like a fool.
i tried to be more outgoing. to cover up my age. to be like them and be liked. i'm mad at myself for putting myself through these unnecessary, meaningless struggles.
a friend didn't expect that i would feel this way cos she didn't think the relationship would have been 'realistic'. basically, it wouldn't have happened anyways.
i feel stupid for dreaming unrealistic dreams. i hate myself for thinking more than it is.
i am tired of the hurt and the brokenness. it's making my whole body ache.
i need healing.
